Away From Here
by thehopefulone
Summary: What if Brennan had a stillbirth? How would it affect her, the group, and her relationship with Booth? From "The prisoner in the pipe. " and then AU.
1. The feeling of emptiness

**Disclaimer- I don't own Bones**

**A/N- This story is rather sad, but I think the reward will be great. I am planning on making this a multi-chapter story, depending on demand. **

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Brennnan knew the moment she was born that something was wrong. It took Booth longer, but Brennan just knew. Call it maternal instinct or whatever...technicalities didn't hardly matter at a moment like this. The barn was silent.

Booth took her into his arms, quiet. Christine didn't cry. She didn't blink. She just laid in his arms.

He looked up and his partner, the love if his life, and watched her wipe away a tear. "What do we tell them?" Was her first words. Booth just shook his head.

"Do you want to hold her?" He asked.

Brennan adjusted herself, and wiped a piece of hay away. Then she extended her arms, and Booth set the stillborn baby girl in her arms.

The tears flowed out of Temperance Brennnan, as she nuzzled against the sweet girl. "I'm sorry, Booth." She managed through her tears. "Maybe if...maybe if I had rested, like you had wanted..." The anthropologist was shaking now, crying.

Booth wrapped an arm around her, his head on her shoulder. "Its not your fault." A tear dripped from his eye, a sign that he cared.

Eventually, they got up. Eventually, they left her at a funeral home. Brennan would let someone else do the autopsy, she would let someone else arrange the funeral. She, as a would-have-been mother, was grieving.

When they got home, it was dark. Booth opened the door, sensing that someone was there. Brennan fumbled for the light switch, and flipped it on.

"SURPRISE!" Their friends greeted the grieving couple with smiles. Angela, Hodgins, Cam, Sweets, and Daisy.

It took them a minute to realize that the baby wasn't there. Then Angela ran forward, taking Brennan into her arms. Temperance instantly began to cry when Angie held her.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie." Angela whispered, and they turned to see their friends, all grieving as well.

"Her name was Christine Angela Booth." Brennan whispered. "And I love her more than words can describe." Tears poured down her cheeks, and Booth gently wiped them away for her.

She looked around the room, noticing the stacks of diapers, and the banner with "Welcome Home Stapes." on it.

"We are all here for you." Hodgins said softly.

Brennan leaned against Booth's arm. "Thank you." Booth replied.

Then the room was silent, and quiet prayers were whispered for the angel girl that was Christine.

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**A/N- Should I continue? The next chapter will be better than this one, I promise.**


	2. Moving on

**Disclaimer- I don't own Bones**

**A/N- I know the first chapter was sad, but it's mostly healing from here on out. Also, the italics at the beginning of each chapter are random looks into the sideways dimension, what would have happen if Christine had lived.**

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_"Christy!"_ _Michael yelled as they chased after each other. It was a Saturday night, and the adults were sitting around a campfire, sipping iced tea with lemon that Brennan had prepared for them. Now, she and Angela were huddled together, enjoying a home design magazine, and pointing out all the things they liked, and didn't like._

_Booth and Hodgins were friends as well. They barbecued together, and drank together often at the Founding Fathers._

_Booth reached out and caught Christy as she ran past him. The little girl hugged him._

_"I love you, Daddy." She whispered, and was about to run away again, when Brennan cut in._

"_Where's my hug?_"

_Christine smiled her first-grade missing tooth smile, and hugged Brennan tightly._

_"Mommy, I love you so much." _

_Brennan beamed, her heart nearly melting. "I love you more than anything, Princess."_

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A few weeks later, Brennan woke in the middle of the night. Her hand instantly flew to her stomach, which was no longer holding her baby girl. The feeling of loss was still great even after the funeral.

She crawled out of bed slowly, as to not wake Booth. Then, she walked lightly down the hall, bare feet cold against the wood flooring.

She tried to avoid the door at the end of the hall for most of the weeks, but now she opened it and turned on the lamp. The light illuminated the room. The crib, the rocking chair, the dresser full of little clothes she and Angela had picked out. Everything seemed to stand still, as if still waiting for a baby that would never arrive here.

Brennan sat herself in the rocking chair, and pulled back the lace curtains so she could see the moon and the stars.

She knew all kinds of facts about space, but she always wished she didn't know any. Just for once she would like to be able to stare at something beautiful and not have to know anything about it.

"It's strange to think our baby girl is up there."

Brennan nearly jumped out of her chair, and turned to see Booth leaning against the doorway. His hair messy, and his eyes still tired looking.

She took a breath to compose herself. "Is it possible to miss someone you never knew?"

Booth stepped into the room, and pulled her into his arms. She was warm, and her arms wrapped around his waist was the best feeling ever. "I think I missed you before we met." He nods to confirm this, and leans in to kiss her. When their lips meet, he feels that same, electrifying feeling he always gets when he kisses her. Its exciting and beautiful, all rolled up into one.

Brennan pulls away first, but smiles against his lips. "I missed you most when you were in Afghanistan, and I was in Maluku. I was terribly excited to see you, then there was Hannah...and I guess I kind of lost it." She shrugs, as if to play it off, but he can see right through her.

This was the first time either of them had brought up Hannah, but Booth is a little glad she did. Those wounds have healed, he was ready to talk about it now.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I should never have chosen Hannah over you...I love you, I've always loved you."

"Its okay." She takes a deep breath before continuing. "Remember when we kissed...but I told you we couldn't be together? Outside the FBI building a few years ago?"

He nods. He remembers. He could never forget.

"I wanted to tell you yes. I wanted you to kiss me again, I wanted to be with you. For the 30, 40, 50 years you spoke of."

Booth wipes the tears away from Brennan's face, and she cries harder as she finishes her speech. "I should've been with you, right then and there. I love you too, Seeley."

She rarely ever uses his name. Using it feels like a privilege, someing she sort of has to earn by loving him.

"Temperance." He whispers, their faces close. "I love your name."

She laughs. "My parents stole it just for me."

"That's right...you were born Joy Keenan."

They laugh together, and Booth suggests they go get something to eat.

Their arms link, and they walk downstairs to the freezer, and get themselves both a milk blast bar. Ever since the beauty queen case 5 years ago, those ice cream bars were a staple for both of them.

They sit side-by-side at the counter, eating their ice cream treats, in complete bliss.

"Booth?" She asks.

"Hmm?"

"Would you want another baby?" When she asks this, she gets her begging eyes, her intentions clear.

Booth looks at her. Though all the times he's been with her...as a partner, a friend, a lover...he likes her 3 am look best. Her hair is messy and undone, her face clear of makeup. She wears a pair of blue pajama pants and his sweatshirt and she still looks flawless.

"Would you?" He isn't sure how to answer, so he just reflects the question back on her.

"Yes, I think I would."

"Then, Bones, we can try again, if you want."

She licks the last of her ice cream from the Popsicle stick, and moves closer to him. "I want to."

The autopsy showed no reason why Christine didn't live. Most stillbirths are unexplained.

There was no reason why they couldn't try again, and both were willing to sacrifice everything, just to be together and have a family of their own.

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**A/N- Please, please review.**


	3. Nothing happens just once

**Disclaimer- I don't own Bones.**

**A/N- Sorry it took so long to update. I got kind of sidetracked with other things, and I just didn't know what to write. This one is short, but the next chapter will be longer (and come sooner.)**

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When she got pregnant again, the world felt so complete. It was like everything had fallen into perfect place.

It was nearly year later when she found out, and Angela was 8 months in with baby number two. She and Hodgins were estcatic, and Angela was dying to know the gender. But they had agreed to wait and were sticking to it.

Brennan rubbed her hand over her belly, which didn't show a single sign of pregnancy yet. She couldn't even believe that she wanted this as much as she did. But then again, everything with Booth was always different.

She loved him. But she also needed to tell him still, about the baby. And she wanted a sweet way to do it.

Therefore, she got out all the things they had packed away when they lost Christine. All the rattles, soft fuzzy blankets, the diaper packs, and arranged them around the living room, with Angela's limited help. Angela sat Brennan on the couch, positioning the Anthropologist's hands to form a heart with her fingers over her stomach.

_Snap_. Went the camera, and Brennan texted the photo to Booth, who was still at work.

Within minutes the phone rang. "Really Bones?" He yelled joyously. "Oh, this is great! This is so so...I mean WOW." Brennan laughed, Angela grinning behind her.

When Booth hung up, Brennan sat on the couch. "I can't believe there is a life growing inside me." She breathed, wondering.

"Just wait until he or she gets bigger." Angela says, picking up a teddy bear and hugging the plush toy to her chest.

"Yeah." Brennan agrees. "There's that."

"At least you won't be due on Christmas." Angela says. "This little one better not come while we're opening presents." She talks down to her stomach, as Brennan watches in amusement. Then Angela turns back to Brennan, kissing her cheek. "Sweetie, you and Booth are going to be so happy."

Brennan's cheeks are red, watching as Angela stands and does the best twirl that she can manage while pregnant.

"Don't judge." Angela grins, pulling Brennan up off the couch. "Now, come on. We have shopping to do." The two women leave the house, happy and ready for the new changes.


End file.
